William Shakespeare
-
Tragedies
- Antony and Cleopatra
- Coriolanus
- Hamlet
- Julius Caesar
- King Lear
- Macbeth
- Othello
- Romeo and Juliet
- Timon of Athens
- Titus Andronicus
-
Histories
- King Henry IV Part 1
- King Henry IV Part 2
- King Henry V
- King Henry VI Part 1
- King Henry VI Part 2
- King Henry VI Part 3
- King Henry VIII
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- Richard III
-
Comedies
- A Midsummer Night's Dream
- All's Well That Ends Well
- As You Like It
- Cymbeline
- Love's Labour's Lost
- Measure for Measure
- Much Ado About Nothing
- Pericles, Prince of Tyre
- The Comedy of Errors
- The Merchant of Venice
- The Merry Wives of Windsor
- The Taming of the Shrew
- The Tempest
- The Two Gentlemen of Verona
- The Winter's Tale
- Troilus and Cressida
- Twelfth Night
-
Poetry
- A Lover's Complaint
- Sonnets 1 to 50
- Sonnets 50 to 100
- Sonnets 100 to 154
- The Passionate Pilgrim
- The Phoenix and the Turtle
- The Rape of Lucrece
- Venus and Adonis
The Merry Wives of Windsor (1602)
William Hogarth, Falstaff Examining His Recruits, 1728" style="width: 272px; height: 230px; float: right;" class="PopBoxImageSmall" title="Click to magnify/shrink" onclick="Pop(this,50,'/');"/>ACT ONE
SCENE 1. Windsor. Before PAGE'S house.
[Enter JUSTICE SHALLOW, SLENDER, and SIR HUGH EVANS.]
SHALLOW.
- Sir Hugh, persuade me not; I will make a Star Chamber matter
- of it; if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he shall not
- abuse Robert Shallow, esquire.
SLENDER.
- In the county of Gloucester, Justice of Peace, and 'coram.'
SHALLOW.
- Ay, cousin Slender, and 'cust-alorum.'
SLENDER.
- Ay, and 'rato-lorum' too; and a gentleman born, Master Parson,
- who writes himself 'armigero' in any bill, warrant, quittance,
- or obligation—'armigero.'
SHALLOW.
- Ay, that I do; and have done any time these three hundred years.
SLENDER.
- All his successors, gone before him, hath done't; and all his
- ancestors, that come after him, may: they may give the dozen
- white luces in their coat.
SHALLOW.
- It is an old coat.
EVANS.
- The dozen white louses do become an old coat well; it agrees well,
- passant; it is a familiar beast to man, and signifies love.
SHALLOW.
- The luce is the fresh fish; the salt fish is an old
- coat.
SLENDER.
- I may quarter, coz?
SHALLOW.
- You may, by marrying.
EVANS.
- It is marring indeed, if he quarter it.
SHALLOW.
- Not a whit.
EVANS.
- Yes, py'r lady! If he has a quarter of your coat, there is but three
- skirts for yourself, in my simple conjectures; but that is all one.
- If Sir John Falstaff have committed disparagements unto you, I am of
- the church, and will be glad to do my benevolence to make atonements
- and compremises between you.
SHALLOW.
- The Council shall hear it; it is a riot.
EVANS.
- It is not meet the Council hear a riot; there is no fear of Got in
- a riot; the Council, look you, shall desire to hear the fear of Got,
- and not to hear a riot; take your vizaments in that.
SHALLOW.
- Ha! o' my life, if I were young again, the sword should end it.
EVANS.
- It is petter that friends is the sword and end it; and there is
- also another device in my prain, which peradventure prings goot
- discretions with it. There is Anne Page, which is daughter to
- Master George Page, which is pretty virginity.
SLENDER.
- Mistress Anne Page? She has brown hair, and speaks small like a woman.
EVANS.
- It is that fery person for all the orld, as just as you will desire;
- and seven hundred pounds of moneys, and gold, and silver, is
- her grandsire upon his death's-bed—Got deliver to a joyful
- resurrections!—give, when she is able to overtake seventeen years
- old. It were a goot motion if we leave our pribbles and prabbles,
- and desire a marriage between Master Abraham and Mistress Anne Page.
SHALLOW.
- Did her grandsire leave her seven hundred pound?
EVANS.
- Ay, and her father is make her a petter penny.
SHALLOW.
- I know the young gentlewoman; she has good gifts.
EVANS.
- Seven hundred pounds, and possibilities, is goot gifts.
SHALLOW.
- Well, let us see honest Master Page. Is Falstaff there?
EVANS.
- Shall I tell you a lie? I do despise a liar as I do despise one that
- is false; or as I despise one that is not true. The knight Sir John
- is there; and, I beseech you, be ruled by your well-willers. I will
- peat the door for Master Page.
- [Knocks.] What, hoa! Got pless your house here!
PAGE.
- [Within.] Who's there?
EVANS.
- Here is Got's plessing, and your friend, and Justice Shallow; and
- here young Master Slender, that peradventures shall tell you another
- tale, if matters grow to your likings.
[Enter PAGE.]
PAGE.
- I am glad to see your worships well. I thank you for my venison,
- Master Shallow.
SHALLOW.
- Master Page, I am glad to see you; much good do it your good heart!
- I wished your venison better; it was ill killed. How doth good
- Mistress Page?—and I thank you always with my heart, la! with my
- heart.
PAGE.
- Sir, I thank you.
SHALLOW.
- Sir, I thank you; by yea and no, I do.
PAGE.
- I am glad to see you, good Master Slender.
SLENDER.
- How does your fallow greyhound, sir? I heard say he was outrun on
- Cotsall.
PAGE.
- It could not be judged, sir.
SLENDER.
- You'll not confess, you'll not confess.
SHALLOW.
- That he will not: 'tis your fault; 'tis your fault. 'Tis a good dog.
PAGE.
- A cur, sir.
SHALLOW.
- Sir, he's a good dog, and a fair dog; can there be more said? he is
- good, and fair. Is Sir John Falstaff here?
PAGE.
- Sir, he is within; and I would I could do a good office
- between you.
EVANS.
- It is spoke as a Christians ought to speak.
SHALLOW.
- He hath wronged me, Master Page.
PAGE.
- Sir, he doth in some sort confess it.
SHALLOW.
- If it be confessed, it is not redressed: is not that so, Master
- Page? He hath wronged me; indeed he hath;—at a word, he hath,
- —believe me; Robert Shallow, esquire, saith he is wronged.
PAGE.
- Here comes Sir John.
[Enter SIR JOHN FALSTAFF, BARDOLPH, NYM, and PISTOL.]
FALSTAFF.
- Now, Master Shallow, you'll complain of me to the King?
SHALLOW.
- Knight, you have beaten my men, killed my deer, and broke open my
- lodge.
FALSTAFF.
- But not kiss'd your keeper's daughter?
SHALLOW.
- Tut, a pin! this shall be answered.
FALSTAFF.
- I will answer it straight: I have done all this. That is now answered.
SHALLOW.
- The Council shall know this.
FALSTAFF.
- 'Twere better for you if it were known in counsel: you'll be laughed
- at.
EVANS.
- Pauca verba, Sir John; goot worts.
FALSTAFF.
- Good worts! good cabbage! Slender, I broke your head; what matter
- have you against me?
SLENDER.
- Marry, sir, I have matter in my head against you; and against your
- cony-catching rascals, Bardolph, Nym, and Pistol. They carried me
- to the tavern, and made me drunk, and afterwards picked my pocket.
BARDOLPH.
- You Banbury cheese!
SLENDER.
- Ay, it is no matter.
PISTOL.
- How now, Mephostophilus!
SLENDER.
- Ay, it is no matter.
NYM.
- Slice, I say! pauca, pauca; slice! That's my humour.
SLENDER.
- Where's Simple, my man? Can you tell, cousin?
EVANS.
- Peace, I pray you. Now let us understand. There is three umpires in
- this matter, as I understand: that is—Master Page, fidelicet Master
- Page; and there is myself, fidelicet myself; and the three party is,
- lastly and finally, mine host of the Garter.
PAGE.
- We three to hear it and end it between them.
EVANS.
- Fery goot: I will make a prief of it in my note-book; and we will
- afterwards ork upon the cause with as great discreetly as we can.
FALSTAFF.
- Pistol!
PISTOL.
- He hears with ears.
EVANS.
- The tevil and his tam! what phrase is this, 'He hears with ear'?
- Why, it is affectations.
FALSTAFF.
- Pistol, did you pick Master Slender's purse?
SLENDER.
- Ay, by these gloves, did he—or I would I might never come in mine
- own great chamber again else!—of seven groats in mill-sixpences,
- and two Edward shovel-boards that cost me two shilling and two pence
- a-piece of Yead Miller, by these gloves.
FALSTAFF.
- Is this true, Pistol?
EVANS.
- No, it is false, if it is a pick-purse.
PISTOL.
- Ha, thou mountain-foreigner!—Sir John and master mine,
- I combat challenge of this latten bilbo.
- Word of denial in thy labras here!
- Word of denial! Froth and scum, thou liest.
SLENDER.
- By these gloves, then, 'twas he.
NYM.
- Be avised, sir, and pass good humours; I will say 'marry trap' with
- you, if you run the nuthook's humour on me; that is the very note
- of it.
SLENDER.
- By this hat, then, he in the red face had it; for though I cannot
- remember what I did when you made me drunk, yet I am not altogether
- an ass.
FALSTAFF.
- What say you, Scarlet and John?
BARDOLPH.
- Why, sir, for my part, I say the gentleman had drunk himself out of
- his five sentences.
EVANS.
- It is his 'five senses'; fie, what the ignorance is!
BARDOLPH.
- And being fap, sir, was, as they say, cashier'd; and so conclusions
- passed the careires.
SLENDER.
- Ay, you spake in Latin then too; but 'tis no matter; I'll ne'er be
- drunk whilst I live again, but in honest, civil, godly company, for
- this trick; if I be drunk, I'll be drunk with those that have the
- fear of God, and not with drunken knaves.
EVANS.
- So Got udge me, that is a virtuous mind.
FALSTAFF.
- You hear all these matters denied, gentlemen; you hear it.
[Enter ANNE PAGE with wine; MISTRESS FORD and MISTRESS PAGE.]
PAGE.
- Nay, daughter, carry the wine in; we'll drink within.
[Exit ANNE PAGE.]
SLENDER.
- O heaven! this is Mistress Anne Page.
PAGE.
- How now, Mistress Ford!
FALSTAFF.
- Mistress Ford, by my troth, you are very well met; by your leave,
- good mistress. [Kissing her.]
PAGE.
- Wife, bid these gentlemen welcome. Come, we have a hot venison pasty
- to dinner; come, gentlemen, I hope we shall drink down all unkindness.
[Exeunt all but SHALLOW, SLENDER, and EVANS.]
SLENDER.
- I had rather than forty shillings I had my Book of Songs and Sonnets
- here.
[Enter SIMPLE.]
How, Simple! Where have you been? I must wait on myself, must I? You
- have not the Book of Riddles about you, have you?
SIMPLE.
- Book of Riddles! why, did you not lend it to Alice Shortcake upon
- Allhallowmas last, a fortnight afore Michaelmas?
SHALLOW.
- Come, coz; come, coz; we stay for you. A word with you, coz; marry,
- this, coz: there is, as 'twere, a tender, a kind of tender, made
- afar off by Sir Hugh here: do you understand me?
SLENDER.
- Ay, sir, you shall find me reasonable; if it be so, I shall do that
- that is reason.
SHALLOW.
- Nay, but understand me.
SLENDER.
- So I do, sir.
EVANS.
- Give ear to his motions, Master Slender: I will description the
- matter to you, if you pe capacity of it.
SLENDER.
- Nay, I will do as my cousin Shallow says; I pray you pardon me; he's
- a justice of peace in his country, simple though I stand here.
EVANS.
- But that is not the question; the question is concerning your marriage.
SHALLOW.
- Ay, there's the point, sir.
EVANS.
- Marry is it; the very point of it; to Mistress Anne Page.
SLENDER.
- Why, if it be so, I will marry her upon any reasonable demands.
EVANS.
- But can you affection the 'oman? Let us command to know that of your
- mouth or of your lips; for divers philosophers hold that the lips is
- parcel of the mouth: therefore, precisely, can you carry your good
- will to the maid?
SHALLOW.
- Cousin Abraham Slender, can you love her?
SLENDER.
- I hope, sir, I will do as it shall become one that would do reason.
EVANS.
- Nay, Got's lords and his ladies! you must speak possitable, if you can
- carry her your desires towards her.
SHALLOW.
- That you must. Will you, upon good dowry, marry her?
SLENDER.
- I will do a greater thing than that upon your request, cousin, in any
- reason.
SHALLOW.
- Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do is to pleasure
- you, coz. Can you love the maid?
SLENDER.
- I will marry her, sir, at your request; but if there be no great love
- in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance,
- when we are married and have more occasion to know one another; I hope
- upon familiarity will grow more contempt. But if you say 'Marry her,'
- I will marry her; that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
EVANS.
- It is a fery discretion answer; save, the fall is in the ort
- 'dissolutely:' the ort is, according to our meaning, 'resolutely.'
- His meaning is good.
SHALLOW.
- Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
SLENDER.
- Ay, or else I would I might be hanged, la!
SHALLOW.
- Here comes fair Mistress Anne.
[Re-enter ANNE PAGE.]
Would I were young for your sake, Mistress Anne!
ANNE.
- The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.
SHALLOW.
- I will wait on him, fair Mistress Anne!
EVANS.
- Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and EVANS.]
ANNE.
- Will't please your worship to come in, sir?
SLENDER.
- No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
ANNE.
- The dinner attends you, sir.
SLENDER.
- I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth. Go, sirrah, for all you are
- my man, go wait upon my cousin Shallow.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
A justice of peace sometime may be beholding to his friend for a man.
- I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead. But what
- though? Yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
ANNE.
- I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.
SLENDER.
- I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
ANNE.
- I pray you, sir, walk in.
SLENDER.
- I had rather walk here, I thank you. I bruised my shin th' other day
- with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence; three veneys
- for a dish of stewed prunes—and, by my troth, I cannot abide the
- smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? Be there bears i'
- the town?
ANNE.
- I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
SLENDER.
- I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it as any man
- in England. You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
ANNE.
- Ay, indeed, sir.
SLENDER.
- That's meat and drink to me now. I have seen Sackerson loose twenty
- times, and have taken him by the chain; but I warrant you, the women
- have so cried and shrieked at it that it passed; but women, indeed,
- cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
[Re-enter PAGE.]
PAGE.
- Come, gentle Master Slender, come; we stay for you.
SLENDER.
- I'll eat nothing, I thank you, sir.
PAGE.
- By cock and pie, you shall not choose, sir! come, come.
SLENDER.
- Nay, pray you lead the way.
PAGE.
- Come on, sir.
SLENDER.
- Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
ANNE.
- Not I, sir; pray you keep on.
SLENDER.
- Truly, I will not go first; truly, la! I will not do you that wrong.
ANNE.
- I pray you, sir.
SLENDER.
- I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome. You do yourself wrong
- indeed, la!
[Exeunt.]
[Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE.]
EVANS.
- Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house which is the way; and
- there dwells one Mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his
- nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer,
- and his wringer.
SIMPLE.
- Well, sir.
EVANS.
- Nay, it is petter yet. Give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that
- altogether's acquaintance with Mistress Anne Page; and the letter
- is to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to
- Mistress Anne Page. I pray you be gone: I will make an end of my
- dinner; there's pippins and cheese to come.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE 3. A room in the Garter Inn.
[Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM, PISTOL, and ROBIN.]
FALSTAFF.
- Mine host of the Garter!
HOST.
- What says my bully rook? Speak scholarly and wisely.
FALSTAFF.
- Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
HOST.
- Discard, bully Hercules; cashier; let them wag; trot, trot.
FALSTAFF.
- I sit at ten pounds a week.
HOST.
- Thou'rt an emperor, Caesar, Keiser, and Pheazar. I will entertain
- Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap; said I well, bully Hector?
FALSTAFF.
- Do so, good mine host.
HOST.
- I have spoke; let him follow. [To BARDOLPH] Let me see thee froth and
- lime. I am at a word; follow.
[Exit.]
FALSTAFF.
- Bardolph, follow him. A tapster is a good trade; an old cloak makes
- a new jerkin; a withered serving-man a fresh tapster. Go; adieu.
BARDOLPH.
- It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
PISTOL.
- O base Hungarian wight! Wilt thou the spigot wield?
[Exit BARDOLPH.]
NYM.
- He was gotten in drink. Is not the humour conceited?
FALSTAFF.
- I am glad I am so acquit of this tinder-box: his thefts were too open;
- his filching was like an unskilful singer—he kept not time.
NYM.
- The good humour is to steal at a minim's rest.
PISTOL.
- 'Convey' the wise it call. 'Steal!' foh! A fico for the phrase!
FALSTAFF.
- Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
PISTOL.
- Why, then, let kibes ensue.
FALSTAFF.
- There is no remedy; I must cony-catch; I must shift.
PISTOL.
- Young ravens must have food.
FALSTAFF.
- Which of you know Ford of this town?
PISTOL.
- I ken the wight; he is of substance good.
FALSTAFF.
- My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
PISTOL.
- Two yards, and more.
FALSTAFF.
- No quips now, Pistol. Indeed, I am in the waist two yards about; but
- I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to
- make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses,
- she carves, she gives the leer of invitation; I can construe the
- action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour,
- to be Englished rightly, is 'I am Sir John Falstaff's.'
PISTOL.
- He hath studied her will, and translated her will out of honesty into
- English.
NYM.
- The anchor is deep; will that humour pass?
FALSTAFF.
- Now, the report goes she has all the rule of her husband's purse; he
- hath a legion of angels.
PISTOL.
- As many devils entertain; and 'To her, boy,' say I.
NYM.
- The humour rises; it is good; humour me the angels.
FALSTAFF.
- I have writ me here a letter to her; and here another to Page's wife,
- who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most
- judicious oeillades; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot,
- sometimes my portly belly.
PISTOL.
- Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
NYM.
- I thank thee for that humour.
FALSTAFF.
- O! she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention
- that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a
- burning-glass. Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse
- too; she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be
- cheator to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall
- be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear
- thou this letter to Mistress Page; and thou this to Mistress Ford.
- We will thrive, lads, we will thrive.
PISTOL.
- Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
- And by my side wear steel? then Lucifer take all!
NYM.
- I will run no base humour. Here, take the humour-letter; I will keep
- the haviour of reputation.
FALSTAFF.
- [To ROBIN] Hold, sirrah; bear you these letters tightly;
- Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.
- Rogues, hence, avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go;
- Trudge, plod away o' hoof; seek shelter, pack!
- Falstaff will learn the humour of this age;
- French thrift, you rogues; myself, and skirted page.
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN.]
PISTOL.
- Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullam holds,
- And high and low beguile the rich and poor;
- Tester I'll have in pouch when thou shalt lack,
- Base Phrygian Turk!
NYM.
- I have operations in my head which be humours of revenge.
PISTOL.
- Wilt thou revenge?
NYM.
- By welkin and her star!
PISTOL.
- With wit or steel?
NYM.
- With both the humours, I:
- I will discuss the humour of this love to Page.
PISTOL.
-
- And I to Ford shall eke unfold
- How Falstaff, varlet vile,
- His dove will prove, his gold will hold,
- And his soft couch defile.
NYM.
- My humour shall not cool: I will incense Page to deal with poison;
- I will possess him with yellowness, for the revolt of mine is
- dangerous: that is my true humour.
PISTOL.
- Thou art the Mars of malcontents; I second thee; troop on.
[Exeunt.]
SCENE 4. A room in DR. CAIUS's house.
[Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, and SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY.
- What, John Rugby!
[Enter RUGBY.]
I pray thee go to the casement, and see if you can see my master,
- Master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i' faith, and find anybody
- in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the
- King's English.
RUGBY.
- I'll go watch.
QUICKLY.
- Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the
- latter end of a sea-coal fire.
[Exit RUGBY.]
An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house
- withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale nor no breed-bate; his worst
- fault is that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish that
- way; but nobody but has his fault; but let that pass. Peter Simple
- you say your name is?
SIMPLE.
- Ay, for fault of a better.
QUICKLY.
- And Master Slender's your master?
SIMPLE.
- Ay, forsooth.
QUICKLY.
- Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?
SIMPLE.
- No, forsooth; he hath but a little whey face, with a little yellow
- beard—a cane-coloured beard.
QUICKLY.
- A softly-sprighted man, is he not?
SIMPLE.
- Ay, forsooth; but he is as tall a man of his hands as any is between
- this and his head; he hath fought with a warrener.
QUICKLY.
- How say you?—O! I should remember him. Does he not hold up his head,
- as it were, and strut in his gait?
SIMPLE.
- Yes, indeed, does he.
QUICKLY.
- Well, heaven send Anne Page no worse fortune! Tell Master Parson
- Evans I will do what I can for your master: Anne is a good girl,
- and I wish—
[Re-enter RUGBY.]
RUGBY.
- Out, alas! here comes my master.
QUICKLY.
- We shall all be shent. Run in here, good young man; go into this
- closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long. What,
- John Rugby! John! what, John, I say! Go, John, go inquire for my
- master; I doubt he be not well that he comes not home.
[Exit Rugby.]
[Sings.] And down, down, adown-a, &c.
[Enter DOCTOR CAIUS.]
CAIUS.
- Vat is you sing? I do not like des toys. Pray you, go and vetch me
- in my closet une boitine verde—a box, a green-a box: do intend vat
- I speak? a green-a box.
QUICKLY.
- Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. [Aside] I am glad he went not in
- himself: if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.
CAIUS.
- Fe, fe, fe fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais a la cour—
- la grande affaire.
QUICKLY.
- Is it this, sir?
CAIUS.
- Oui; mettez le au mon pocket: depechez, quickly—Vere is dat knave,
- Rugby?
QUICKLY.
- What, John Rugby? John!
[Re-enter Rugby.]
RUGBY.
- Here, sir.
CAIUS.
- You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby: come, take-a your rapier,
- and come after my heel to de court.
RUGBY.
- 'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.
CAIUS.
- By my trot, I tarry too long—Od's me! Qu'ay j'oublie? Dere is some
- simples in my closet dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
QUICKLY.
- [Aside.] Ay me, he'll find the young man there, and be mad!
CAIUS.
- O diable, diable! vat is in my closet?—Villainy! larron!
- [Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier!
QUICKLY.
- Good master, be content.
CAIUS.
- Verefore shall I be content-a?
QUICKLY.
- The young man is an honest man.
CAIUS.
- What shall de honest man do in my closet? dere is no honest man dat
- shall come in my closet.
QUICKLY.
- I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic. Hear the truth of it: he came of
- an errand to me from Parson Hugh.
CAIUS.
- Vell.
SIMPLE.
- Ay, forsooth, to desire her to—
QUICKLY.
- Peace, I pray you.
CAIUS.
- Peace-a your tongue!—Speak-a your tale.
SIMPLE.
- To desire this honest gentlewoman, your maid, to speak a good word to
- Mistress Anne Page for my master, in the way of marriage.
QUICKLY.
- This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er put my finger in the fire,
- and need not.
CAIUS.
- Sir Hugh send-a you?—Rugby, baillez me some paper: tarry you a
- little-a while. [Writes.]
QUICKLY.
- I am glad he is so quiet: if he had been throughly moved, you should
- have heard him so loud and so melancholy. But notwithstanding, man,
- I'll do you your master what good I can; and the very yea and the no
- is, the French doctor, my master—I may call him my master, look you,
- for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew, bake, scour, dress
- meat and drink, make the beds, and do all myself—
SIMPLE.
- 'Tis a great charge to come under one body's hand.
QUICKLY.
- Are you avis'd o' that? You shall find it a great charge; and to be
- up early and down late; but notwithstanding,—to tell you in your
- ear,—I would have no words of it—my master himself is in love with
- Mistress Anne Page; but notwithstanding that, I know Anne's mind,
- that's neither here nor there.
CAIUS.
- You jack'nape; give-a dis letter to Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a
- shallenge: I will cut his troat in de Park; and I will teach a scurvy
- jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You may be gone; it is not good
- you tarry here: by gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar, he
- shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
[Exit SIMPLE.]
QUICKLY.
- Alas, he speaks but for his friend.
CAIUS.
- It is no matter-a ver dat:—do not you tell-a me dat I shall have
- Anne Page for myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and I have
- appointed mine host of de Jartiere to measure our weapon. By gar, I
- vill myself have Anne Page.
QUICKLY.
- Sir, the maid loves you, and all shall be well. We must give folks
- leave to prate: what, the good-jer!
CAIUS.
- Rugby, come to the court vit me. By gar, if I have not Anne Page,
- I shall turn your head out of my door. Follow my heels, Rugby.
[Exeunt CAIUS and RUGBY.]
QUICKLY.
- You shall have An fool's-head of your own. No, I know Anne's mind for
- that: never a woman in Windsor knows more of Anne's mind than I do;
- nor can do more than I do with her, I thank heaven.
FENTON.
- [Within.] Who's within there? ho!
QUICKLY.
- Who's there, I trow? Come near the house, I pray you.
[Enter FENTON.]
FENTON.
- How now, good woman! how dost thou?
QUICKLY.
- The better, that it pleases your good worship to ask.
FENTON.
- What news? how does pretty Mistress Anne?
QUICKLY.
- In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and honest, and gentle; and one that
- is your friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise heaven for it.
FENTON.
- Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?
QUICKLY.
- Troth, sir, all is in His hands above; but notwithstanding, Master
- Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book she loves you. Have not your worship
- a wart above your eye?
FENTON.
- Yes, marry, have I; what of that?
QUICKLY.
- Well, thereby hangs a tale; good faith, it is such another Nan; but,
- I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread. We had an hour's talk
- of that wart; I shall never laugh but in that maid's company;—but,
- indeed, she is given too much to allicholy and musing. But for you
- —well, go to.
FENTON.
- Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me
- have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend me.
QUICKLY.
- Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of
- the wart the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.
FENTON.
- Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.
QUICKLY.
- Farewell to your worship.—[Exit FENTON.] Truly, an honest gentleman;
- but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another
- does. Out upon 't, what have I forgot?
[Exit.]